|
www.kevacho.com
©2002-2010
Kevin Michael Vance
Writer - Portland, Oregon
|
|
|
When creating this spot for my web page I was trying to think of how I might best not come off as the biggest buffoon on the forehead of this great, big, planet. Then I realized something... I am human. For me this bespeaks volumes. It means that I am fallible, that I am not perfect. I have made mistakes, am making mistakes even as I write this, and will, inevitably, make mistakes in the future. When I wax romantically about myself and my role in this cosmic-shit tub we all dubiously call life I like to think of myself as the warrior- strong, loyal, full of discipline and honor. In reality, there are parts of me that follow those codes, but more to the point, I am a worker, and very proud of that. I finish what I start. I relish the journey. And I live... as well as any 38-year-old white male could hope to live in this world of skewed ideals and twisted attitudes (holy crap! I wrote this drivel five years ago. How time light speeds).
Suffice it to say, here within these "random thoughts" I will contradict myself, I will be wrong in some points and right in others, and I will make mistakes. However, as always, I hope in a small way that you, the reader, might garner a modicum of enjoyment.
Hell! I know I do. |
March 05, 2010
Life... again.
|
Thursday of this week was one of the most difficult days of my life; topping even the day Mel divorced me through email. Put my pop in a nursing home. Not much to say, except it was very, very sad. It was hard to leave my father in the care of strangers. Hard to think they will love him the way that he should be loved. Harder still, was to say goodbye when the fear and the concern and the worry ran from his eyes like tears. On the other hand, knowing that it is the best thing to do for all concerned, the best thing for him, and the best thing for us, the family. Watching your body and muscles and reflexes go to shit is one thing, to a certain degree that is, for every damned last one of us, inexorable. But watching a mind fall to pieces, crumbling away like clay, until you, the individual, are robbed of everything- pride, humanity, pleasure- quite literally everything that made you -- you, is far more arduous than anything I could have ever imagined, and something I would not wish upon my worst of enemies.
I love you, dad.
[Add Comment]
0 Comments |
|
March 02, 2010
Interesting...
|
So, it appears I truly pissed someone off concerning my last Random Thoughts entry. (Obviously, I'm doing something right.) I am, otherwise, involved in an extremely delicate and sensitive matter, but will soon post this woman's ravings. I do believe all will get quite kick out of it.
[Add Comment]
0 Comments |
|
December 31, 2009
Life sometimes sucks...
|
Well -- I still work in retail, and that time is spent mainly running around on the floor of a corporate grocery store. Not a bad job, really; also, not a great one either. The store in question is a much-hyped, liberal based, grocery store, which of course means that its customers (I like to call them slum dogs, or mud bloods, or simply scum) are, for the most part, privileged white people who believe they deserve more than you or I. The job affords me the lifestyle I've become accustomed to, a lifestyle I wouldn't change, and one that allows me to continue to delve into this thing called writing. Sometimes though, admittedly, it's difficult. You see, people treat you differently when you're wearing a nametag and an apron. They look at you as a lower class citizen, a slave if you will, very much beneath them in both position and intelligence. It would never occur to one of these erudite idiots that many of the people I have been lucky enough to work beside in the industry of service hold not one, but a few masters degrees, and that those who willingly, or as the case may be, unwillingly, choose to don the uniform of retail are some of the most intelligent and talented people I've ever met; which brings me to my little story.
I was hastily facing P.G. (for those not in the know, this acronym stands for perishable grocery). Two breeders, male and female, stride past me, followed by their rambunctious progeny, who is pushing, rather dangerously, a small grocery cart intended for small children. (Sure, I've seen pretentious, ostentatious, hipster-doofusi, bending over as if hunch-backed, shoving the tiny grocery cart in front of them, and gazing about to see if everyone is noticing how funny and ironic they're being. But those fuckers don't count.) The female of the pair says to the child, "careful honey". In reference to me, "don't hit the man". The male blurts out to, what I can only assume was his son, "you can hit him -- he only works here." The kid, and I can only assume this, because my back had been turned towards the couple the whole time, must have given the mother a strange look. For she laughed and said to the child, "Daddies only kidding." I had to leave, before I turned on them and said something akin to this, "there are enough pricks and assholes in the world, without you rearing another."
I don't even want to get into how wrong this truly is. I think the thing that infuriates me the most is the fact that this man insulted and mocked me in front of his child. Just remember folks this is the actual world we're living in. People treat each other worse than animals. It doesn't matter that I probably have more talent in the end of my dick than he has in his entire body. It doesn't matter that I was, and probably forever will be, physically his superior. What matters is that he thought it was funny mocking someone working, and working hard. This country has fallen, and fallen hard. The litmus test for this is simple, how do its' citizens treat each other - with respect, or with open scorn?
[Add Comment]
0 Comments |
|
October 12, 2009
Again, humanity...
|
I thought, just the other day while working and watching the plethora of humanity swarm by me, that we as a culture are no longer human, we are, in fact, parodies of humanity. Gazing upon the hideous mass of people shopping I could not get past the fact thast they looked more like dolled-up clowns than actual, breathing human beings. Hair colored like cotton candy, outfits ill-fitting, floppy, funhouse costumes, adults attitudes much more akin to children- it struck me that we are most definitely in a declining era of mediocrity and vacuity that goes well beyond anything I have seen in my forty years. People dress in costumes and act like insouciant clowns, and yet, they still think they deserve respect. I am certainly not the man to tell others how to live their lives, or how to dress. But at the same time, do NOT ask me to take you seriously if you've dyed your hair plastic-pig pink. And seemingly attached, like some Halloween accoutrement, to foolish hair color, and outlandishly put together uniforms are the attitudes; the privileged, selfish, deserving beliefs that in someway, somehow, the fact that these people think that by dieing their hair, or wearing outlandish clothes, they are better than others, more in touch with some ill-conceived concept of wisdom, and or, freedom.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. True freedom, both of mind and heart, comes from within; simply ask any survivor of any Nazi death camp if this is not true. This is also true with any philosophical form of courage, individuality, and aesthetic expression. You are not a rebel because you pay someone to tattoo on your skin. You are not unique or special because you dye your hair like a moron. Men and women are defined by one thing, and one thing only, their actions. The truly unfortunate part is, more often than not -- generally speaking, you can judge a book by its cover.
Just remember, the loudest person in the room, whether loud in outfit or mannerisms, is usually the weakest.
[Add Comment]
0 Comments |
|
:: View Thought Archive :: |
